A Nap to Remember
You know that feeling you get just before you wake up? Where you’re neither here nor there. You’re just…in between? It isn’t uncommon for some eerie things to happen while dreaming. That all too familiar feeling of being dropped when you abruptly wake up. Is it really the devil accidentally dropping you on his way to the underworld? Or is it just your brain waking you up from a bad dream? Understandably, the former sounds much more remarkable.
Then there’s the study that proves humans have actually been known to learn in their dreams. There have even been cases where people claim to have learned an entirely new language while in a sleep stasis or when they were comatose.
One such tale, just as gripping, has been recorded in diary entries by an ordinary girl…
Something’s definitely wrong.
I’ve been attempting to retrace my actions from yesterday to understand what exactly is happening to me.
I woke up, had breakfast, went to school, attempted a spectacularly perfunctory exam, lied about the probability of decent marks to my parents, pretended to do homework, watched TV, and slept. A perfectly normal day in my life. Nothing out of the ordinary.
So why did I suddenly have all this random information in my head? I remember waking up and going to brush my teeth when the toothpaste tube snagged my attention. The toothpaste contained hydrogen peroxide, which helps in the whitening of teeth. Obviously.
Obviously?? How did I know this? Why did I know this? What even was hydrogen peroxide? Hydrogen peroxide is a mild antiseptic used on the skin to prevent –
WHAT?! Was there someone in my head? Oh my god.
Okay. In the last 4 hours, I have reached three conclusions. 1 – I now know everything there is to know about anything that starts with the letter H (H is the 8th letter in the alphabet, in case you didn’t know). 2 – It happened after I went to sleep last night (I need to ask my mom what she put in dinner ASAP). And 3 – IT’S FREAKING ME OUT.
There’s a ghost living inside my head. There has to be. Granted, the weirdest, most unhinged spirit with an H fetish. But a ghost, nonetheless.
This is how my days are going –
‘Hey, what’s up?’
The word ‘hey,’ derived from ‘hello,’ was first used back in the 1800s, also said to be inspired from the word –
SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP.
‘Did you do last night’s homework?’
‘Homework was considered illegal in the US for a while back in the 1900s.’
‘Yes. Yes, I did do my homework.’
You know what? I take it back. This is actually not that bad. I now know so much more than I ever knew before.
I know that Halloween is also called All Saints’ Eve. And that Hannah Montana dated a guy named Oliver. Oh and, did you know countries have fought actual wars of hummus?
I’ve also wholly impressed and concerned my friends and family simultaneously. I’d say that’s a talent on its own. I’ve been wondering if I should tell somebody about this. Who would even believe me?
Never mind, it’s gone. I knew it was too good to be true.
*This satire is based on a Harvard Study - https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/learning-while-you-sleep-dream-or-reality