GET OUT OF MY HEAD
“Get out of my head” the voice repeated, this time more adamantly.
“So, of course, we’ll need to schedule the surgery as soon as possible” Dr. Priya said, taking a look at the MRI results.
“Or, maybe we don’t have to do it at all?” I shrugged nonchalantly.
Dr. Priya eyed me warily.
“Do you see the size of this thing? It’s like a baseball in your head!” she said.
“Yes but, what if it’s good for me?” I asked.
“Good for- this thing could be causing irreparable damage to your head!” she yelled.
“But there's a chance the surgery could do more bad than good right?” I say, trying to inch my way out of the room.
“No! Absolutely not- Are you afraid of surgery, is that it?” she asked in an understanding tone.
“No-Yes, deathly scared of them. Huge phobia of surgeries and doctors. And just being here gives me the creeps!” I said, nodding my head to make it seem more convincing.
“There might be a chance the tumour is causing this stress. Almost like something parasitic in your otherwise rational mind.” she suggested.
“Get out of my head” the voice in my head said in agreement.
“Or maybe the rational part of me wants to keep it in! Ever think of that? What if it’s the only thing keeping me alive right now?” I say with complete sincerity.
“Look, I don’t want to scare you, but if this thing keeps growing, you might lose your consciousness entirely. You’ll be nothing but the husk of your former self, deemed to watch your body eat itself from the inside. Either that or you effectively die and the tumour takes over.” she said apologetically.
“That could happen!? He could- I could die and leave the body behind for the para- tumor!?” I said, failing to mask my excitement. She thankfully took it to be a fear.
“Get out of my head!” the voice said fearfully.
“It’s certainly in the realm of possibility. That’s why we need to get you into surgery as soon as possible” she said. I thought for a moment.
“When’s the soonest we could do it, if I were to agree to it?” I asked, just to get her off my back.
“Next Saturday, I could give you the appointment right now,” she said, making another note on his clipboard.
“And that’s not too late? I’ll still be alive by then?” I asked.
“Tough to say. At the rate that it’s growing, I wouldn’t say longer than two months, so no later than Saturday okay?” she said.
“Thanks for all this, doc,” I said, gratefully.
“Anytime. I’ll be sure to let your mom know as soon as we-”
“No! That’s fine, she’ll want to hear it from me.” I said confidently. She nodded and watched me as I left the room to speak to “my” mom. She jumped and grasped my shoulders.
“Get out of my head”
“What happened? Is everything okay?” she asked.
“Yeah-well kinda. It’s a stress thing. Doctor says it would be best if I got my mind off things, I guess. But school isn't that bad,” I shrugged.
“Get out of my head.”
“No way, if the doctor scanned your brain and found that you need to destress, then we’re going on a trip. Where do you want to go? Let’s go to Europe! How’s that sound? Europe for a week?” She asked.
“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “One week doesn’t seem like that long.”
“Get out of my head! Get out of my head! Get out of my head! Get out of my head! Get out of my head!”
“Of course honey! How about we go for a month then?” Mom said with care in her eyes.
"Yes that'd be great Mom." I smile.
“Please don’t do this. Please get out of my head!”