Dear Past Me,
This is your future self, writing to you so just for once stop thinking, and listen. I know that you think it's all a facade, I know that you are in an emotional turmoil right now. I know it's all a mess and it always will be, but trust me you'll figure it all out.
I know we overthink. We overthink a lot. But with where you are right now, that is not helping, is it? I know you are worried about the college you'll end up in and what kind of people you'll meet.
I know it's hard to let go, but learn to do that real quick because that is really going to help you. Don't worry you'll get into a good college, not with the best people but you'll learn to live with it.
I know you don't want to leave the friends you have. The ones that know you inside out. The ones whom you literally can't do without. But the truth is they aren't going anywhere. Of course, you'll see them less often (okay, a lot less often) but they are there. They'll come to meet you and you'll go meet them.
They'll still be the ones you'll call before an emergency and the ones you'll call after a hard day. They'll move on and so will you.
You'll go live your dream.
You'll go to a new place, meet new people, they'll appear really inconsiderate at first and you'll feel like you won't be able to make it, but you will. You'll find your set of people, the ones who can mom you and the ones you'll have to mom.
The ones with whom you'll party like crazy and the ones with whom you'll share your life stories.
Your hostel will feel like home! (Just without food, also a tip, eat as much as you can because your food life is going to be pathetic.)
You will have a new found freedom, a freedom that is hard to contain, but it’s a beautiful world out there and you'll carve your way through it.
Your college is ''The Best''. It's not at all how your seniors marketed it but your party scenes are sorted, so sorted that you'll pretty much die of passive smoking. You'll do things that you didn't intend to but cut yourself some slack. You're not perfect and as far as I know you, you don't intend to be so.
You're saner than 70% of the people here. Take that compliment and move on.
Your life is going to be full of DRAMA.
The Drama that will appear amusing at first but later you'll get sick and tired of it. The Drama that will never end or let you sleep in peace. The Drama that will never let you “Netflix and Chill”. The Drama that you'll soon be done with. (Welcome to Symbi, I guess.)
There will be days when you'll hate the people here and there will be days when you won't want to leave this place and go.
I know it's not going to all be sorted from now on as well, but when has it not been a mess?
The city is amazing! Amazing for walks (A. Because you don't have a car and B.You're too broke for cabs.) Despite all this, you'll fall in love with this place, your life, your independence.
Home won't feel like home again, it'll never be the same again. When you go back you'll be treated like an adult and all you'll do is eat and sleep, and you will not want to go back.
But there will be days when you'll just sit with a cup of coffee and look where you are and the euphoria of managing things all by yourself, be it as small as grocery shopping will give you joy beyond measures.
I know what I’m saying sounds really utopian but "You've got this", just keep doing what you are doing. You're going to make it.
PS: Don't watch football this time, France wins and Ronaldo moves to Juventus
Lastly, Welcome to Symbi You'll eventually love it here!